A new scientist one day emerged. His name was Charles Fakewin. Fakewin proposed a brand new theory and claimed that ghosts really exist. He brought out a book called On the Origin of Ghosts. “I have developed a new theory. I do not yet have any evidence for it, but I will have eventually,” he said. He accused those who opposed him and said there was no such thing as ghosts of being “opposed to science.” He developed the following formula for his theory:
xy{f(x)±g(x)}+energy+photonal effect+(an+1)/ an+electricity+òf(x)+g(x) = proto-ghost
òxndx+water vapor+log1/x+sinhx/coshx+electricity+f(1+x2) = intermediate ghost
tangx+(xy)2.yx+cosmic rays+glogx2+water vapor«g(x)+radiation = almost complete ghost
afx2+wcos x2+(f(x)±g(x)+radiation+lfx3+(xy2+yx2)p+energy = complete ghost
Although Fakewin had no scientific evidence in his possession, he tried to demonstrate that his claim that ghosts exist is a scientific one by using these formulae.
Fakewin claimed that ghosts form out of water vapor. He maintained that water vapor envelops the bodies of people walking in the streets and then itself assumes human form. He then suggested that after completing their development on the surface of the sea they rise into the sky, finally establishing colonies in the clouds. He claimed that the clouds also assume different forms from time to time, sometimes coming to resemble human beings and animals at other times. He maintained that the first primitive ghost, proto-ghosts in other words, emerged in this way, achieving the first stage of physical growth in this phase.
He claimed that proto-ghosts emerged when the air was charged with electrical ions, when lightning bolts were striking, and that this reinforced their physical development.
Neo-fakewinists maintained that ghosts assume their forms from people on television. They said that they are charged with ions from the images of people on the television and then depart from the region in the form of water vapor. They also claimed that when human breath makes contact with the images of people in films on cinema screens, the ions in those take shape by attaching themselves to that breath, and that the result is punctuated ghosts.
The main idea underlying Fakewin’s theory is this: "Certain functional phenomena can take place in nature as a natural reflection of fantasies in nature, otherwise known as ‘the law of free fantasy.’ This law is the principle factor underlying the emergence of all ghosts. This is an absolute fact. Nobody can deny it." He continued with his peculiar claims by saying, "Nobody who has not read my book can fully understand me."
The whole world of science, world famous universities and world famous scientists warmly embraced this theory. "Opposing Fakewinism is the same as opposing science" they said. "Anyone opposing this theory must be sacked, and any students critical of Fakewinism must be expelled" they said. “How is it possible for anyone not to believe the theory when it possesses thousands of different formulae?” they asked. It seemed as if this new theory would keep the public occupied for a long time to come.
This new theory of ghosts somehow bore a very close resemblance to Darwin’s theory of evolution. Darwin first claimed that such a thing as evolution existed and then claimed he would find the evidence for it. He looked for evidence but failed to find any. Darwin and the Darwinists who followed him also claimed that their theory was scientific, though they were unable to provide a single piece of supporting evidence. They also accused those who said "the theory of evolution is not scientific, but a lie" of being "opposed to science." Despite not having the slightest piece of supporting evidence, they propagandized the nonsense of evolution using articles full of obscure terminology and hoax formulae. Darwin’s claim of evolution is no different to Fakewin’s theory of ghosts. But chemical formulae and scientific terminology changed nothing. And now, by the will of Allah (God), the whole world is aware that Darwinism is utter nonsense.
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